Blog Entry: 5 The English on the loose
April-May 2021
“My cheeks hurt” I say to Jess while grinning like the Cheshire Cat out of Alice in Wonderland and sitting in a blue and brown pop-up beach chair! I was watching The Inbetweener’s, but this wasn’t just why my checks hurt, it would appear the small berry shaped gummy that made up part of a gift pack we had been given, had kicked in. But unlike Will from show we we're watching, I did not need ‘mummy' or ‘ambulance' I just needed my fucking cheeks to return to where they normally resided on my face.
More of that will be explained in due course. When we left off I was about to have Big T’s. Like a stopped clock tells the time right once a day, Jess had been correct, Big T’s was as awesome as she had promised. I was just so happy to be out, just walking around in the spring air. The next morning was an early one, we walked the 2 hours to Enterprise rent-a-car, passing places like ‘Epic Massage’ and ‘Chicken on the Way', I feel like this one street had all you could need. I particularly like going to car rental places early in the morning, picking up in the afternoon feels like you have wasted half a day of car rental. I also find the staff at car rentals start to lose the will to live by the afternoon. We finally got the key to our car and after signing multiple bits and being upsold everything known to man, we were off, only to drive out the hire location and have the tyre warning light come on…….
So, Calgary is like Oxford. No, not lots of students getting very hammered and centuries old history. They are like Oxford because they also have a stupid one-way system in parts. This meant although I was only 30m from the enterprise locations I had to go on a little adventure to get back to the entrance. I got Jess to call them straight up and to say we were returning and why. So, you can only imagine my deep confusion when I went back into the rental hut to explain to the guy who I had just picked the car up from what had happened, and he asked so how long I had had the rental…… slightly worrying as he had given me the keys not less than 5 minutes earlier. Cars were switched and after signing even more paperwork we were actually on our way this time. As my first act of freedom we went to Home Depot, which is like B&Q on steroids but with less OAP’s. I purchased my first DeWalt drill, this was important as I had screwed all the shipping crates together and would be up shit creek getting them apart without one. We also got a hoover as we had nothing, and I thought this would be needed. I discovered later that this was not true. In Canada they have hoovers built into the house, you just plug a pipe and end into holes dotted all over the house and it collects in one central place.
Later we had arranged a vehicle viewing. Yet again ‘flu' causing more issues. When we had last visited the second-hand market was on its arse and cheap, new cars were readily available and in high demand. Fast forward a year and due to the lack of new cars, the second had market had moved stupidly high, our initial plan was to get a relatively new truck with what I had sold the Mustang for, unfortunately with the house not selling that budget had gone elsewhere. The car in question was in a less than desirable state, but then so was everything else in our budget! The guy selling was cool, we settled on a reduced price and arranged to pick it up in a few days. After this we left for Cochrane to meet our landlady and get the keys for our rental accommodation, we were not actually moving in right then, but we would finally get to see the rental that we would call home, until we could sell in England and buy over here. Gwen, our landlady, is a real Albertan country looking lady. She is straight talking with a warm smile and easy to get on with. She completed the handover and welcomed us; this was comforting to meet her as she was one of only 2 people we knew in the entire country of Canada. After a short trip back to Calgary and our last night in the Hilton I was itching to get moved in, I say moved in we only had 3 suitcases, two back packs, a drill, and a hover I didn’t need. Our crates that had been held at Heathrow for 3 weeks but had finally been shipped, but once again due to ‘flu' they wouldn’t fly direct to Calgary. Instead, they detoured through Vancouver……. yes, went further initially to then come back to Calgary. To make it worse, they road freighting it from Vancouver to Calgary, something I had specifically said I didn't want but I had no control over as the only aircraft from Vancouver to Calgary was a 737 and my creates were packed on a ULD that would not fit on a 737. I couldn’t have shipped them earlier to coincide better either as I had to be present at customs to receive the shipment, and so had to be out of quarantine.
The first days consisted of an indulgent trip to Banff, shopping at Walmart, taking in Amazon deliveries and picking our car up/taking the rental back. Now, in England I had had a few nice cars and I had paid height for insurance when I was younger but not had big insurance price in years. I had paid as low as £260 for fully comprehensive insurance on my Cayman S, and this had light modifications. So, you can but imagine my disgusted response when they said they would take none of my driving history and I needed to pay $6400 to insure a 2.4L Mitsubishi Outlander!!! As I struggled not to respond with “go fuck yourself” I formulated a plan and started hunting for better options. Over the period we were in the ’SAIT penitentiary’ I had pushed and got this down to $2340, which was still stupid but a little better. The feeling of going back to our rental knowing we had a car, a place to live, and food was reassuring.
Now I did say I would come back to why I was grinning so hard. When we had paid for the Outlander, we had chatted to the seller for a little while and had told we had just moved from the UK, so as a welcome gift with the car he gave us two beers, a small packet of cannabis gummies, and a pre-rolled joint! So as a small celebration after picking the car up we indulged in the beer and gummies. As we had no sofa, TV, kitchen table, or any furniture to speak of we had got two pop out beach chairs and I used my iPad propped on the windowsill as a TV. So normally I’m a drug free guy, most of my jobs restrict it and it's illegal in England. I don’t even drink any more, but as cannabis is 100% legal in Canada so ‘when in Rome’. I had a few and quickly realised choosing to watch The Inbetweeners and having 3 of the gummies was a solid mistake. They take a while to kick in but when they do…… We found out two things from this evening. One, when high I laugh very loud causing my cheeks to get stuck higher than normal and two, in that state, beach chairs are impossible to get out off, I ended up crawling out of a tipped over beach chair after a long time of trying to do this gracefully.
Jess had a break of five days before starting school and I had not been able to secure a job from England as no one was sure with the restrictions if I would get over here or if they would be open. I had been talking to Nissan in Cochrane and had an appointment with the Service Manager on the 4th but unfortunately this was no good as they had hired someone 4 weeks earlier as they were not sure I would get here. This set me on a path that my close friend and family only know too well. I emailed and called every place with burning intent to get something. From independents to dealers, I would soon have bills to pay and failure wasn’t an option! Within two days I had a part-time offer and within five days a full time role at a Dodge dealer in Calgary, I hadn’t wanted to have to drive to Calgary every day but it was what it was and most important, I had a job.
I had mentioned our bed was delayed and that didn’t change so our first issues was what to sleep on. In England blow up beds are either really shit or really expensive and I have never been a fan, they’re for sleepovers when you’re a kid! But over in North America thigs are a little different. They have vast selections with multiple cushioning levels and nice little touches like suede fabric where you lay, and they self-inflate! This was an upside and a definite relief as the next option was a scout style sleeping bag and ground mat. This lasted us till we got our bed delivered eight days after it was due. This put our furniture count to two, a bed and a pair of beach chairs. This helped to feel less homeless. We then realised the previous tenants had left a small patio table and two chair set that they didn’t want, and this made a good temporary kitchen table putting us to three items of furniture. Then on the 13th I was given the green light to get our crates, I had arranged for a lorry to pick up and I would oversee. The lorry was big enough but not when it came half loaded with other shit. This made it a two trip pick up. Still, by the 14th, all our possessions were in our new garage, and we were finally here.
By the 14th of May this had ended up being the busiest month of my life, we had gone on two aircraft, been granted access and temporary residency to Canada, shipped 2.354 tonnes of stuff halfway round the world with zero broken or lost items, we had stayed in three Hiltons, in one shitty student accommodation and in two houses. We had purchased a car, transferred both driving licences, been approved for health care, I had got a full-time job, got insurance, both got credit cards, both got bank accounts. Oh, and tried the local drugs……. I don’t think I missed anything? This was all achieved while 90% of the world was in a pandemic!
I live by one of Jordan Belfort’s quotes and it's actually on my pin board behind me as I write this in my office. It says, “The only thing standing between you and success is the bullshit story you tell yourself every morning”. Those are the truest words! Every morning I wake up with the intent to achieve something and as my life passes, I realise it's all about momentum. Every day I push and move forward keeping momentum. Whether it’s preparing for the companies I’m yet to start, growing the company we have, securing our permeant residency, trying to sell our house in the UK, making our house here better, fixing issues with our cars, maintaining my physical shape, or finding balance in my mental health so my anxiety or stress doesn’t consume me, I have come to the solid belief forward motion is the most powerful motivator. For anyone that knew or knows me, the idea of me writing two pages like I have done for the last 5 weeks would have been laughable. In school, half a page was a tall order, and it was reinforced that I just had dyslexia and ADHD and not to expect too much of myself and that was my ‘bullshit story’ that I allowed myself to believe. Since then, I realised the more I have learnt the easier learning becomes and from mechanics to housing documents to flying to operations to photography and to me and my wife starting our own company in a different country, I have learnt that things are only what they are at that point in time. Everything is achievable and can be changed, but it all starts with changing that ‘bullshit story’ that you tell yourself every morning!
Nex time I will be from the 14th May to the 14th of June. See you then.
